The long arm, the strong arm.

There are times when one feels completely disempowered.  Always at the point of take-off and landing, and often plenty more times inbetween.  Any so-called Act of God, whether it be earthquake, storms, or floods, and, of course, or when you meet the long arm, the strong arm, the long arm of the law.  (Warren Zevon, I believe.)  At the siren-sounding moment when the cop catches you speeding.  At school, when you have to go and see the principal.  All disempowering moments. 

There's a real levelling when you're sitting outside the court on a Monday morning, watching all the people come and go - mostly lower socioeconomic, but not always.  They know one another, greet one another as though it's what you do, where you go, on a Monday.  The kids romp around as though they're at playschool.  They know the place well.  I'm one of them now.  Waiting for the court to say whether my daughter has to answer the charge of attempted poisoning.  It's a greater charge than any of the others out here, waiting.  They're mostly in for DIC or fines, or petty theft.  We're alongside grand larceny.  But they don't know that.  Even when we're in the dock, they refer to it as 'the charge'.  There are no police on our case today - usually they're there, sitting rather smugly on the benches.  I can say that now, because I'm on the other side, the side where the police are pigs, dicks, or whatever.  It's a weird feeling, being in the paradigm shift.  Thinking they could have not laid charges, not arrested her, could have taken the time to understand what it means to have an intellectual disability.  But they don't have to, of course, being the long arm, the strong arm. 

The court is obliged to take more notice, though.  You can't just arrest and imprison a person with an intellectual disability these days.  Psychiatric reports advise a judge on what finding to make; then teams of specialists are called into play after that.  And one just becomes a parent again, disempowered, useless.  Waiting.

The spirit splutters and dies so easily, so quickly.