The end of the Year of the Tiger - bring in the Rabbit!

According to Chinese culture, 2011 is the Year of the Rabbit.  This comes directly after 2010's Year of the Tiger.  And apparently, the Year of the Rabbit is time to recover from the rough year we've had with the Tiger.

http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2010ChineseHoroscope.htm
"... which implies 2010 won't come quietly and peacefully. We can image that 2010 is a Tiger wearing armor. This Tiger doesn't like armor on the top its body and keeps jumping around. For safety, we should keep our distance from it. That's why many Chinese don't like White Tiger.
"Tiger has the potential to become vigorous, ferocious and cruel. So Tiger is a symbol of power and authority. This kind of personality is good for the leadership. With the inflexible and destructive personality, Tiger has very poor people relationship, especially, with family members. In traditional customary, Chinese family don't invite people born in year of Tiger to involve private wedding ceremony."

And, as far as I am concerned, 2010 has been very much the Year of the Tiger, so I welcome in the Year of the Rabbit which, according to the Chinese, is :  "A placid year, very much welcomed and needed after the ferocious year of the Tiger. We should go off to some quiet spot to lick our wounds and get some rest after all the battles of the previous year."

Good taste and refinement will shine on everything and people will acknowledge that persuasion is better than force. A congenial time in which diplomacy, international relations and politics will be given a front seat again. We will act with discretion and make reasonable concessions without too much difficulty.

A time to watch out that we do not become too indulgent. The influence of the Rabbit tends to spoil those who like too much comfort and thus impair their effectiveness and sense of duty.

"Law and order will be lax; rules and regulations will not be rigidly enforced. No one seems very inclined to bother with these unpleasant realities. They are busy enjoying themselves, entertaining others or simply taking it easy. The scene is quiet and calm, even deteriorating to the point of somnolence. We will all have a tendency to put off disagreeable tasks as long as possible"

"Money can be made without too much labor. Our life style will be languid and leisurely as we allow ourselves the luxuries we have always craved for. A temperate year with unhurried pace. For once, it may seem possible for us to be carefree and happy without too many annoyances." http://www.theholidayspot.com/chinese_new_year/more_zodiacs/rabbit.htm
Not at all sure life will be that easy, but with any luck, the pressures from 2010 will be released a little.

Christmas

I like Christmas; I like the fact we have a summer Christmas and you never know what the weather will be like - hot as anything, or even cold enough for a fire.  I like the fact that there are Christmas Carols and that churches have their nativity plays with small children who probably don't know much about Jesus other than he was born in a manger and if they're lucky they might get to be one of the Wise Men.  Best of all, I like the fact that we continue to celebrate the birth of one person in the world whose name is known everywhere - whether it's taken in vain, or not.  One person who has somehow made an impression lasting enough to still make people think about life, about themselves, and make a decision based on the values Jesus taught.

Obviously not everyone will think like this, and that's ok too.  But I do miss the sense of purpose around the season.  That has now morphed into a sense of commercialised panic.  Here, in New Zealand, Christmas songs are still American songs about jingle bells, snow, white Christmas, and so on.  How I hate that.  Even the national radio plays these ridiculous songs.  Why can they not play our own songs of Christmas?  Why the American drivel?  And don't get me started on the "happy holiday" greetings!  Here's a country - America - who is basically fundamentally Christian; they pray all the time, they worship, go to church, and are more religious as a community than New Zealand will ever be, and yet they cannot bring themselves to accept "Merry Christmas" as a greeting... it has to be so politically correct as to try not to offend those who do not celebrate Christmas!  I don't care whether others celebrate Christmas or not - I do care that my greeting of goodwill, peace, and joy, gets totally rubbed out and dumbed down to "happy holidays"!!  If someone greeted me with "Happy Hanuka" or any other kind of greeting, I'd be really chuffed!

Anyway, it's not a time to gripe.  So I shall put that to one side, and to anyone anywhere who ever might read this blog - and judging by the stats there might on the odd occasion, possibly, be one person in the world - I do wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and all that it means.

The highs of 2010

Apart from the engagement of our oldest daughter, and her great happiness, the main highs for this year would have to be in the travelling I did.  I have done more travelling overseas this year than any other to date.  In March I went to Australia, to Sydney, Adelaide, and Brisbane, holding one-day workshops on education and training for PWS.  These were such fun, with large audiences, lots of interaction, and made me feel very positive about the workshops I had designed.  I didn't have time to stop in each city, but I have visited them all before, and Australia is on our doorstep. 


  In May, I went to Taipei in Taiwan for our 7th international PWS conference.  This was a new experience - not the conference, I have been to nearly every one of these; but the culture.  My long-suffering colleague was with me, along with three other younger women from our Association.  The culture is so different; they celebrate so much more than we do; they show respect so much more than we do; they are more gentle, more refined, and tireless in their ambition to do more for their disabled population.  We were traditionally honoured by our hosts, were were banqueted and fed all sorts of delicacies - no alcohol, just brightly coloured cordial.  The wine that was available was not to our taste, being red and rough.  But it didn't go with the cuisine in any case.

One banquet provided us with the opportunity to try sea slug, pig's cortex, tripe, chicken feet & head, as well as some unidentified food.  My colleague and I tried everything - the wonderful cooks who had prepared this banquet could be seen carrying plate-loads of food back to the kitchen, rejected by Western palates.  We had many nights of concerts put on for us by children and adults with disabilities.  They sang beautifully.  I think singing is important - it increases the lung capacity, the speech modulation, gives the singer confidence, and is a wonderfully social event.  Many of the songs they sang brought tears to our eyes.

After the conference, we flew back to Hong Kong and set off for Shenzhen just over the border into China.  What a city!  I've been there three times now, each time to go to the tailors who will make clothes overnight for a very reasonable rate.  No point in bargaining, you're already getting a bargain, and if someone's prepared to work all night, I'm certainly willing to pay.  It's not a great part of the city - a huge square with rather desolate buildings and the train station.  Crossing the border, proudly displaying the one-page visa in our passports, we spent much of our time in this seven-storied building full of things you probably don't need but buy, anyway.  The clothes are well worth the effort of getting a visa, and travelling through the rail system and eating rather strange, but interesting, food.   This time, along with my Kiwi colleague and best shopper of all time, came a Finnish colleague, determined to experience something new and different.  We had a ball.

view from Table Mountain

In August I was invited to South Africa to give more workshops.  This was the biggest high of them all.  We stopped for a couple of days in Perth on our way over.  This was a city I had already visited, but many years ago, and I was interested to see it again.


Sunset, Whale Bay



But, South Africa!  A new country to explore, new people to meet, and a planned trip at the end to Timbavati Reserve.  This time my husband came with me and, while I worked, he played in most of the cities we visited:  Cape Town, Bloemfontein, Durban, Johannesburg, Richard's Bay.  We were wined and dined to our hearts' content, we were taken to wonderful places to see the wildlife, or the vinyards, and to capture the essence of South Africa.  It was all too short; but practically a month away in another country.  The workshops were a mixture of different services (educational, residential, parents, medical) and kept me on my toes - the people were a mix of black, white, and coloured, all with the same desire to learn more, to share stories, to meet one another, and to help those with PWS.  I was invited to give lectures at three university hospitals and, for the first time, I stood on the other side of the lecture theatre.  Speaking from experience, as a parent as well theoretically and professionally, lifted my morale, my confidence, and gave me great strength.  That's also INFP for you.


The jewel in the crown was Timbavati.  The beautiful lodge where we slept under canvas (luxury, it must be said, with ensuite, beautiful bed and crisp white linen, and an outdoor double shower)  http://www.simbavati.com/ the wonderful spread of food, the early morning call for a safari, the lovely languous hot afternoons before the evening safari, the campfire, the river with hippo, the lions, leopard and her cub, the elephant and the most beautiful of all animals, the giraffe; not to mention the funny little warthog with their tails sticking straight up, and the dogged strength of the hyena, the night calls from baboons - the stars, the sunsets, the wonderful knowledge that you are standing in the cradle of the world where it has been and always will be.  Watching the animals, listening to the guide, and travelling in an open jeep from where we could observe the animals without the hindrance of windows, was fascinating.  It was like being in a parallel world. 

To cap off the year of travel, my sister and I went to Brisbane in November to see the wonderful Valentino exhibition.  We had a ball - just the two of us, staying in an apartment near to the exhibition hall, and pretty close to the railway line - great for ease of transport, but fairly noisy!  The Valentino collection was stunning; the design, fabric, stitching, and the sheer magnificence of two halls of collection, videos and beautiful photos; and then there was the cafe - good food is a must!  You should know that by now.  We were going to spend only a couple of hours at the collection but ended up from the morning start at 10am until 5pm when we wandered outside and into a wonderful little market which had magically appeared while we were star-gazing.  A welcome beer, and several dollars lighter from some of the great stalls there, we wandered back via the supermarket to collect wine, salmon, prawns and fresh bread.  What an excellent way to spend a weekend!

The lows of 2010

This year has been difficult.  It has had highs and lows, both extreme.  I started at the beginning of the year thinking about whether I would try to go any further with the leadership role in our international PWS organisation, and, after trying to rate myself, decided I wasn't the right person; better off in the background.  You know what INFPs are like.  Then came the news that our youngest daughter, the one with PWS, who had been arrested in late 2009 for putting slug-bait into a caregiver's cup of tea 'to see what would happen', was having to go to court and would have a year's imposed sentence as a court order in one of the most difficult homes in the area. 

These homes house people with disabilities who are unable to cope in the outside world and whose only method of coping is violence.  In February, we put our daughter into the hands of caregivers who looked after a group of violent people.  It was the most fearful thing to do.  Looking back over this year, I can only look with pride at the way she has coped.  I would not have been able to live with people like that - who thumped the walls, yelled, threw tables, and were randomly violent.  She managed.  I know she also responded with violence, and a lot of the yelling kind.  But it's what they do - people with disabilities are unable to function in a world which is, to them, scary, unreliable, and punative.   Six months into this sentence, she was transferred to a less restricted home, but still with unpredictable clients, this time, all male.  Although the setting is tranquil, the house is not necessarily so.  There are still rules, but it is more relaxed.  Not necessarily a good thing, but it's the way things are done.  There are rules for visiting: don't come in unannounced; don't wear a skirt; do not bring children onto the site; and so on. 

I have taken her out every two weeks and often brought her home over a weekend.  During this time, I worked with the government powers that be to get another home established which would care for at least 3 people with PWS. After many meetings with health officials and disability residential providers, this is now ready to go.  It's going to be a challenge, no doubt, but this is one that has to be met.

The biggest low to date, with her, has been when she was bashed and punched around the head several times by one of the other residents who decided she'd been into his room and taken some chocolate.  The staff took her to A & E and fortunately there was no concussion or internal bleeding.  She still managed to lay a charge of abuse with the police.  The irony has not escaped me.  And I am pretty certain she did take the chocolate, although she would never, ever admit to that.  I have had her home for several days while she recuperates.  Her time in the more relaxed home has had the outcome of her now putting on all the weight she lost during the first half of the year, resulting in high blood sugar levels and diabetes Type II.

The next challenge that has been ongoing for most of the year is a personal one which has required much soul-searching and character balancing.  When you think that you are doing a good job, and you are getting good responses and feedback, yet are criticised by some board members whose knowledge is less than your own, but whose youth desires to rush forward with new brooms and the hell with what you stand for, it tricks your mind into thinking you are useless.  I know.  It's the old INFP rising to the bait again.  But it is also a reminder of my generation's submissiveness - as far as the women were concerned - when we were just breaking out under the banner of Women's Lib.  Although our own mothers were subjected to being part of the Behind the Kitchen Sink brigade, and held mixed views of our desire to 'burn the bra', possibly wishing they could do the same, we were still the tail end of that cultural cringe, and it still comes back to haunt me.  There are still a lot of 'shoulds' in my life.  Crushing stuff.

So, when the chairman - also a product of his generation and spawned into the male dominated culture - decided to curtail my work and bring forward my retirement by a year, there was a fair fight to be had.  It is very wearying and somewhat bruising for an INFP, but at the same time, step on my toes... and be prepared for the unexpected. 

Happily, there is much that remains the same, and focussing on what is real is the best cure for the soul.